Think about the things that have happened this year. It just doesn’t get good. My whole life things have been going down and they just keep going down. I don’t know how much more I can take it. But I hope that within the next year. It gets better. I don’t know if that will happen but you never know. Maybe I will die or maybe I will get the second job I want and everything from there will fall into place.

I don’t know how much more I can handle this. My mind feels like it wants to explode. It always sad, I put on a happy face in the outside of my body. But I don’t know if I can keep on doing it. I’m always depressed even when it doesn’t show. Sometimes I want to scream and scream. It sucks when I start to cry because I feel like my whole body is just draining. I’m waiting for it to drain out completely. But when that happens I wonder what will happen in the end to me. Sometimes I think that’s when my body has just had enough, to the point that it doesn’t want to keep going and it will just stop beating and that will make the cycle of the body end. That would be interesting.